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What to do when a child struggles in class, pauses, but then asks parents to play chess again?

10/3/2024

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Today, I received a question from a parent: Their child had been taking chess lessons for a while, learned the rules, and even learned how to play. However, they couldn't keep up with the teacher's pace and felt it was a bit difficult, so they stopped the lessons. But now, the child wants to play chess with their parents at home, and the parents don’t know how to play. What should they do?

This reminds me of when my daughter first took chess lessons. In her first game, she was completely beaten by a boy two years younger than her, and she ended up stopping lessons for a year. I've shared my daughter's story many times, so I won’t repeat it here.

Now, I'd like to share my thoughts on the issue mentioned above. First of all, the fact that the child is eager to play chess with their parents shows that they still enjoy playing chess, regardless of whether it's because they want to win against their parents. What parents can do is provide more opportunities for the child to engage with chess. This doesn't necessarily mean formal lessons. For example, you could organize playdates, take them to informal chess meetups at libraries where they can play with other kids, or even watch chess-related movies together. You could also attend activities like "Chess in the Park" or sign up for after-school programs (which are usually less formal and might not even have a teacher).

Of course, you could also consider switching to a different class or a new teacher. You could tell the child that mom and dad will learn chess along with them, and their job will be to teach you what they’ve learned. They might be very happy to take on that role.

Find one or two friends of similar age for the child to play with regularly, not necessarily just for chess. Having companions will make it easier for them to stay motivated. ✊

If they continue taking lessons, communicate more with the teacher.

The goal 🎯 is to foster a love for chess, not to achieve any particular ranking. Wait for the right moment. You never know when that "plane" will take off. 🛫

My daughter’s journey started in an after-school club (which she asked to join herself), not a formal chess school. It was a club where an external coach came in to teach, and I didn’t even know what she was learning or how much she was absorbing. But she kept at it for more than six months. She made friends, had fun, and the parents in the club were very supportive. Eventually, they started taking the kids to unrated tournaments. And slowly, that’s how she got started on her chess journey.
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